Psalm 139

Psalm 139:23-24

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

Test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

And lead me in the way everlasting.

Anxious thoughts… I think God knows all our anxious thoughts, so I find it curious that the psalmist ask Him to ‘test me and know my anxious thoughts’. I think I am the one who becomes more aware of my anxious thoughts during testing: Worries about money, health, children, money, getting things done, ego, money, relationships, future, money, etc. I see so much contradiction in my confessions- I love God, I trust God, Jesus lives in me. If what I confess to be true is true, I must learn to live in that truth. I must learn to love God more than money, health, children, getting things done, ego, relationships, or my future. I must learn to trust God in my money, health, children, getting things done, ego, relationships and my future. Jesus’ influence should be evident in my use of and my priorities of all those things. In these anxious thoughts I see my offensive ways. I see my desire for comfort, for self-preservation, for personal prosperity and peace. Unfortunately I see these things gaining momentum but then I see the hope. “Lead me in the way everlasting”. Lord, thank you that you are beyond what I can see. Thank you for a whole realm of love, that I just get glimpses of. Lead me into thinking more of You and less of me. Lead me into focusing on loving you and loving others. Thank you for providing forgiveness for our selfish propensities and for our anxious thoughts.