Israel, here I come!
My husband is an anticipator. He has been excited about my trip to Israel for months now. I however tend to be more in the moment, so it is just now sinking in that I will be leaving in 2 weeks. Wow!
I realized I needed to record how this transpired so that I would not forget. You see I tend to forget the details over time, and can displace the significance of an event, or even downplay God’s role in it. So while I will still probably downplay God’s role in it, because He is after all in everything, I want to put in writing the cool way this has happened.
Last year, I was taking a bible study called “Experiencing God”. It really challenged me in a couple of ways: instead of doing what I thought and then asking God to bless it, I should look for what God was doing and then get involved where He directed. The study also challenged me to listen to God and step out in faith. I sensed that God was leading me to quit my job as Group Fitness Coordinator, but I wasn’t sure what the next step was. Around this same time, my husband felt strongly that I should go on a study tour of Israel. Looking at those two separate ideas you can see that they don’t really add up. I would be decreasing our family income around $1200 or so each month, and adding an additional expense of around $3700. At the same time we were committed to sending our 2 middle school girls on mission trips with the youth, which was also an additional $1200. Hmmm.
We began the discussions of what we could cut back on. We even decided to put our house on the market. With so many foreclosures we thought that perhaps by selling our house, we could lower our mortgage some. I tend to enjoy doing minor home repair and remodeling. We had fixed up our first home and made quite a profit, so we reasoned that perhaps we could do that again, but we also prayed that God would reveal his desire to us. At the end of our 3-month contract we reconsidered and decided it was best if we stayed put. I was relieved that I would no longer have to have my home ‘ready to show’, but still unsure where that left our plans. We thought about refinancing, thinking if all else fails, we could use some of our equity to pay for the trip (is my husband supportive or what), but because we had our house on the market, we could not refinance for 3 months, which would cause us to miss the payment deadlines for the trip. I think God was removing our options of self-reliance.
So, without knowing what the source would be, we took our step of faith and put down my $400 deposit. We decided that either God would provide or we would lose $400 (and that was a serious commitment for us). Two weeks later it was Christmas. When we got together with my family, my Dad gave each of the kids and the grandkids envelopes as usual. But the contents for us kids, was a bit unusual. Unbeknownst to us, my parents had cashed in an annuity and decided to split it among the 3 of us (I have 2 brothers). My envelope that normally had $50 instead had $2000. Grady smiled and said, “There’s part of your Israel trip”. We were astonished and grateful.
About 1 week later, I got a call from Julie Polachek. She said, “I have an anonymous donation for your Israel trip.” Someone had donated $2000. I was downright giddy for days. I remember thinking that on the one hand I would love to be able to say thank you to the donor, but on the other hand, not knowing made it seem like it came directly from God. We were able to pay off my trip and a significant portion of our daughters mission trips as well. I remembered Blackaby saying, “Confirmation comes after commitment”. What a beautiful confirmation!
It’s funny because I still am not sure why God wanted me to resign. But I suppose that if it were for no other reason than to ‘show off’ His amazing provision, I guess that’s good enough. I came across Romans 12:2 today, “It is God who directs the lives of his creatures; everyone’s life is in His power.” I have not done exactly what I expected since resigning. I expected to write everyday, to be inspired and have some big revelation about my calling. What I have done instead is spend more time working in and around my house, spending more time in conversations with my daughters, spending more time cooking homemade meals, spending more time reading, and more time praying. I have felt more relaxed (most days), been more creative in how to spend money and time, and more aware of my dependence on God.
I expected to scrape and save and struggle to find a way to pay for Israel. I expected when I resigned to have a lightening bolt moment from God explaining my purpose. I am so glad God is better than my expectations. He wants me to talk to Him everyday, to step out in faith when He calls me, and to rely more on Him and less on me. “Everything got started in Him and finds its purpose in Him.” I Cor. 1:16b. Ps. 33:10-11 “The Lord foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.” Prov. 19:21 “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
I hope I am slowly learning that it is less about what I plan and expect and more about what God is doing.
Lord thank you for the glimpses again of your abundance, for the confirmation of your provision. Thank you that your plan is so much better when I remember to listen for what You have for me.
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Thank you for your devotional this morning. I wanted to briefly share an experience that I had through the Experiencing God study.
ReplyDeleteLike you I was impacted in my way of thinking about how I approached ministry - get into something and then ask God to bless it vs. joining Him. Looking to join God in what He was already doing led me to begin volunteering at a rest home (now 4+ years ago).
Without going into a lot of detail I found myself wondering about Blackaby's reality #5 -
God’s invitation for you to work with Him always leads you to a crisis of belief that requires faith and action.
My time at this rest home had been amazing from the 1st moment I set foot in the place. I remember leaving one day and calling my wife - I was crying and explained to her how I was the one receiving such a tremendous blessing by serving others. I had just been told by an elderly women named Clyde how much she loved me.
I had told my pastor about volunteering and she said she know someone at this rest home that really could use a visit. His name was Bill and he had suffered a brain injury in his late teens and had been in need of full care ever since (he was now in his late 40's). His mother had passed away and he really didn't have anyone who visited him on a regular basis. When I first visited Bill it was difficult because his speech was so bad that it was almost impossible to understand what he was trying to say. After a couple of visits, I was frustrated and I felt he probably was too. I prayed to God to let me be able to understand what Bill was trying to say to me. The next time I went in I clearly heard him say 'wash my face'. I was taken aback because Bill was not in very good shape - he was obese and dirty - he was simply getting the minimal care I guess as he had no advocate. I found that I was in a sense repulsed by Bill's physical condition, but that day with what I could find in his room I tried as best I could to clean his face. Bill would literally moan as I cleaned him. I thought maybe I was hurting him but it was out of pleasure at being cleaned. I brought in more supplies next time and even did his hair with one of those shampoos that don't require water. I was no longer repulsed, but deeply moved by how simple a thing as washing someones face could make them so happy. I told Bill that the next week I would do his finger nails which had been long neglected. When I went in the next week Bill wasn't there. I thought wow maybe they got him up and are bathing him or something. When I inquired the nurses wouldn't really tell me anything because I wan't family - just that he'd been taken to the hospital. I called my pastor and she was able to find out that Bill had been taken to a local hospital because of an infection from a bed sore and that he had died.
My time at this rest home continues to be a blessing, but it is always challenging because this is a place where people go, for one reason or another, to die.
I must keep remembering though that this is God's ministry not mine and that he invited me to join Him.